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Cenotaph Tapes

by John Carroll

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1.
Road Prayer 04:33
May you yield before a cross May your wagon see the sign Sticking in the mud Protect you when it’s high. When the sun is in your eyes A cloud will give you sight Many men are blind But they say it’s just at night When the ground beneath our feet Is faster than the wind Let the rider take you far And bless the hands you greet. If hooves should touch the tar Against you on the road Be rescued by Saint Christopher Our patron traveller And if night should fall upon you When shadows crawl and stare Let the headlights penetrate them Like the wielded sword of prayer. There’s a million birds and briars To send you on your way The carcasses of a calling crow A path where not to stray. As the engine croaks and whistles It’s crude old heart of oil The beating valves and rusted chains Lament the Shannon soil. All the frequencies between us All the wires, crests and waves The homeward call of family That drives you out again. On a joyride going north Where the drunken trees agree The music should be louder here But your shotgun’s fast asleep. And you’ll know the daylight’s closer When the vampires shield their eyes If they snatch you from the shelter A chariot will rise If you’re burnt out in the ditches Where the homeless piss and cum Don't blame it on the passenger Til you tell him what you've done. Send a prayer to the road Jack your gypsy deals Let it be the envoy For love upon your wheels.
2.
If I'd Known 04:59
If I’d known one day That I’d never look back At the people and the places The taverns and the steeples Of Limerick; ‘You don’t know what you’ve got’, she said ‘You don’t know what you have’ But music’s never been much to her It’s always been a fad Faraway in China The world’s a different place I’m trying hard to understand it But every day’s a race, I've been losing touch with home And it's a different kind of death You accept it for a friend Or you’re on the dole again. The faces that I once called friends Barely contact me While the new life that I’m building Comes with firewalls and proxies The best friend that I've got Is the taxman, I’m sure, He’s still got time for me, He’s always knocking on my door I've always had the time for you And you’re always on my mind But I left you for the unknown With the horizon far behind, If I ever come back to you again Well, things won’t be the same, But I hope you’ll think of me With affection, my friend. Her eyes were always wide Near Sarsfield Bridge by a full moon And she’d light up Poor man’s Kilkee Til the tawny hours would come And we always had the music A place you couldn’t see But we found it there in Limerick It's the only other part of me. The longer that I stay here I look at my photographs And I realise you’re not stagnant But I can’t help thinking back, To the distances we’ve travelled Our past collecting dust And an homage to the arseholes That never gave any time to us Every second I delay now Well, something hits me hard That where she’s headed I won’t be A-howling in the dark, If he’s combing back your hair If he’s looking you in your eyes Well I hope you’ve finally found your love Without promise or disguise If I’d known one day That I’d never look back At the people and the places The taverns and steeples Of Limerick If I’d known one day If I’d known one day
3.
He’s the road of my life Makes it hard to have a wife There’s a drought when he’s wrong Doesn’t know which path he’s on Tell him when the alley’s dark Tell him when the stray dogs bark A barren desert in the wind Don’t mean much without a friend He’s a partner with my hand A drunken night that never ends When I’m broken and depressed He’s a bottle on the shelf He’s the road He’s the road of my life Makes it hard to be a wife There’s a drought when he’s gone Doesn’t know which path he’s on He’s a curse that wages war Doesn’t know what his words are for There’s a deluge when he’s won Doesn't know where he started from Tell me when our struggle ends My independence ropes a bend A barren desert in the wind Don’t mean much without a friend
4.
You used to be my brush and I was on canvas Nothing more than an outline Nothing less than a shadow You taught me how to lift myself From the tea stain on this grimy page Sometimes I slip back again But mostly, I’ve learned to paint You used to be my cane When I was hardly able Nothing more than a whip, Nothing less than a stroke of good luck. You used to hold up seashells To your ears just for the feeling But now the feeling's gone Now, the feelings gone
5.
Seagull 04:20
Seagull, seagull I’m falling down Into my maker’s arms If you drop like a weight The wind won’t change For a man on a rope And a man can choke Starling, I sing To break you in To mother nature’s call When the water’s high I’ll sink and die Like a fading light But the moon’s still bright I’ve seen a crow like this On a crucifix To carry your cloud away. If you drop your head You'll lose your breath In a puff of smoke My asthmatic throat A man’s on a rope And a man can choke
6.
The Ornament 03:34
I’ve held an army charging on the borders of unrest They settled in my fingers and weigh upon my chest The ornament she’s wearing is a dried up shriveled fruit A trinket that he kept for her to moan around her throat There’s a dam a-holding water near it’s spilling to the brim The boats go by and carve the sea for slices of her skin, But he left her like a lion’s mane the rusty autumn skin I beat my body like a drum, deadened as you sing The folly and the shrapnel that carries on the waves Collecting in the fishing nets and clogging up the drains All the quavers bent and broken, And the notes awash with scorn, Squalling gulls a-calling at a father come and gone Long before I got here, the place where we once met You had long abandoned love, a dim and failing threat And he left her like a lion’s mane, the rusty autumn skin I beat my body like a drum, deadened by your hymn The cupboards shift and shuffle as a house and heirlooms fall Browning all the pictures in your wallet as you call A steady oak that whistles through the wind and creeping roots You bronze the shoes and memories that hang around the noose There’s a dam a-holding water near, it’s spilling to the brim The boats go by and carve the sea for slices of her skin, And you left me like a lion’s mane, the rusty autumn skin I beat my body like a drum deadened as you sing
7.
When comes our time to turn the wheel We prey will turn where the deer leaps high, We crossed our fingers like winding barbs They cut right through your promises. We prey will turn Where your steering leads When you’re looking back, and your days are few Will you still be there? where the deer leaps high, We were so regretful of our old winding days Tearing at our conscience, tearing up our brains
8.
As I wait for the starting whistle Frost was turning black, black, black And clouds come from my nose The greyhound wears a muzzle The greyhound wears a muzzle Cast the beasts out of him Cast the beasts out of him Bayonet Bayonet Bayonet Bayonet As we race towards the starving thistles Frost was turning black, black, black And clouds come from my nose The sea she wears a muzzle The silence sweeps her womb Cast the beasts out of her Cast the beasts out of her Bayonet Bayonet Bayonet Bayonet The boy who blew the whistle Frost was all around, round, round And clouds come from my nose A human wears a collar A human wears a collar Cast the beasts out of him Cast the beasts out of him Bayonet Bayonet Bayonet Bayonet As I wait for the final curtain Frost was turning black, black, black And clouds come from my nose The greyhound wears a muzzle The greyhound wears a muzzle Cast the beasts out of him Cast the beasts out of him Bayonet Bayonet Bayonet Bayonet
9.
I celebrate All the changes that I’ve made, I’ve feared the worst Cos I know how failure hurts, I’ve turned a corner That no one else can see I’m feeling hopeful. I want to go, go, go When desperation looms, I’m reaching out Cos I found a kindred soul That’s looking right through me - Invisible, That’s not so obvious at all. Should I applaud? Now that things have turned around, The aches and pains Still scatter round my brain, It’s misleading - Meandering my thoughts, I’m feeling doubtful. You understand When there’s no one else around To listen in, And I know you feel the same That crooked path that turns Leads me on my way, All things seem hopeful.
10.
I looked at you one morning From a ditch above the wall You were a cow Your bell rings when I fall The pastures and the fields where Your pattern's black and white We’re dots upon the landscape But our friendship lasts for life You looked at the stars and And you said they looked the same You were a cow For the abattoir a gain The parlour and the maiden Her signals were so clear We’re specks under the sunlight But our friendship lasts for years Since the world came down Forgot about the teenage culture call When you’re drugged up on a mountain of being bored And it seems too late to turn back now Like years Since the world came down around us Forgot about the teenage culture call When you’re drugged up on a mountain of being bored And it seems too soon to turn around We watched a late night movie All the actors looked the same You were a cow Didn’t notice anyway The pictures and the memories I hung along the wall Reminded you of something But our friendship said it all

about

Performed by:
John Carroll (Guitar/Vocals/Midi)
马倩云 Ma Qing Yuan (Piano)
周大韵 Zhou Da Yun (Cello)
张博 Zhang Bo (Violin)
Lee Davies (Melodica)

All lyrics, music and artwork created by John Carroll

All songs recorded and mixed at home in Ya Shi Yuan, Hangzhou, China in January 2014, except piano on ‘Seagull’ and ‘The Ornament’ recorded at 湖畔琴声 [Hu Pan Qin Sheng], Hangzhou.
Field recording of new year fireworks on 'Where the Deers Leap High' recorded in Ya Shi Yuan, on the eve of the year of the horse 2014.

Mastered by Denis Blackham in the Isle of Skye, Scotland.
Distributed by Medic Records, China

Info - www.lllmediclll.com
Press - lllmediclll@hotmail(dot)com
E - johncarroll@126(dot)com

*********************************************
Reviews:

'Truly a diamond in the rough'
- That's China Monthly, China (03/2014)

'High calibre sentiment and expression...a combination of carefully crafted songs with lasting melodies, faultless lyrics, richly delivery vocals and a masterful touch on guitar...words that cut like knives, phrases filled with pathos and stories to make you feel at one with the powerful images the songs evoke.' - FolkWords, UK (04/2014)

'...A very distinct sound, as if you can read the room with some kind of perceptible braille...i'm not going to give this album a number out of ten, as it's worth more than that'
- That's China Monthly, China (05/2014)

credits

released April 12, 2014

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John Carroll Hangzhou, China

John Carroll is a songwriter and artist from Limerick, Ireland. Carroll's songs can be introspective acoustic narratives, or tongue-in-cheek tunes about acrophobic atheist taikounauts, all topped off with lashings of lyrics and phrases influenced by his adopted home in Hangzhou, China. ... more

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